8. Teachings for Adults | Sikh Code | v2

Resourceful things that should be done by the couple:

practice of good actions, practising religion, taking good vows, performing meditation etc. Only good actions that will please Satguru are to be enacted - by the doing of which our lives will become blissful.

Here is a more detailed account of what can be told to the couple:

1. Actions

"Fourth Saroop (Form): One who calls himself a Sikh of the Guru, the True Guru, should rise in the early morning hours and meditate on the Lord's Name."
(SGGSJ Ang 305)

The whole of this Śabad is to be read out.

"Only actions of religion are to be undertaken and those actions which put us into confusion and condemnation from God are to be refrained from.

Collect the goodness by doing simran (meditation) at all times, run away from sinful actions, then your mind will stop from becoming sinful." (Sri Dasam Granth Ang 710)

"The Gurmukh is blessed with the Nām/ Śabad, charity and purification.
(SGGSJ Ang 942)

All your sins are washed away by meditating. And, through giving charitable donations, your hard work bears fruit.

"One who works for what he eats, and gives some of what he has to charity –
Guru jī says - he realises the true path.
"
(SGGSJ Ang 1245)

One tenth of your time and earnings should be given to the preaching of Sikhi, Guru's Langar and all types of charity connected to the Guru’s House. In this way, your various hopes in life will be realised.

On the other hand if nothing is given to charitable purposes then:

Those who do not give money to the house of Sri Guru Nanak Dev Ji (charity) they will have their money taken by thieves or in fines to the government."
(Sri Dasam Granth Ang 71)

Not giving money for charitable purposes is on a par with being prosecuted, stealing, becoming diseased and success will not last. Therefore it is essential to donate, but it is to be given out of a honest living:

"Kabīr Ji says, those houses in which neither the Holy nor the Lord are served those houses are like cremation grounds: demons dwell within them."
(SGGSJ Ang 1374)

By having Ishnana, the body is cleansed and laziness is removed.

2. Religion

There are two types of religion:

Firstly, common religious practice which is universal for all i.e. remembering God, earning an honest living and doing seva of mankind.

Secondly, are individual religions such as that of Hinduism, Islam, Christianity etc.

Gursikhs also have their own religion - by taking Amrit from Panj Pyare and keeping the discipline of the 5 Kakārs, abstaining from the four cardinal sins, meditating on Nām and Gurbani and seeing only Sri Guru Granth Sahib ji as their Guru.

This is the religion of Gursikhs, which is more important to them than their lives,

for example Bhai Mati Das jī, Bhai Dyal Das jī, Bhai Mani Singh ji, Bhai Taru Singh ji and many others have become martyrs but they did not compromise their faith.

3. Vows and regular practices

Some people go to places of pilgrimage and make vows for giving up something and make it a regular habit. One may say that from today I will not eat bananas, another may say that for the next six months I will not wear shoes etc.

Gursikhs should make vows and regular practices, but of the following kind:

"Out of all the lights which is the best light in the courtyard of the mind?
The light of the knowledge of God is supreme. I 1 I

Meditation, meditation - which is the sublime meditation?
Sublime is the meditation on the Name of the Lord, Har. Har. I 2 I

Renunciation, renunciation - which is noble renunciation?
Noble is the renunciation of sexual desire, anger and greed. I 3 I

Begging, begging - what is noble begging?
It is noble to beg for the action to praise the Lord, from the Guru. I 4 I

Awakening, awakening - which is the supreme awakening?
The supreme awakening is to sing the Lord’s praises. I 5 I

Attachment, attachment - which is the sublime attachment?
Sublime is the attachment of the mind to the Guru’s Feet. I 6I

He alone is blessed with this way of life,
upon whose forehead such destiny is recorded. |7|

Guru Ji savs, everything is sublime and noble,
for one who enters the Sanctuary of God. |8|
" (SGGSJ Ang 1018)

"On the ninth day of the month, make a vow to speak the Truth, and your sexual desire, anger and desire shall be eaten up." (SGGSJ Ang 1245)

Speaking the truth and refraining from lying should be considered as a vow.

Gursikhs are to make a routine of reading as much Gurbani as is possible, waking up in the ambrosial hours, doing Nām Simran, being charitable, performing Ishnana of the body and soul, ridding themselves of vices and remain within the moral constraints laid by Gurmat.

4. Fasts

Some fast according to movements of the moon, others on the birthdays of Krishna and Rāma, others on the twelfth or fourteenth day of a lunar fortnight, some on a full moon, some on Sangrand and others on Tuesday’s. Muslims fast over Ramadan.

In Gurmat keeping any of these fasts is prohibited, and only the following ‘fasts' are permitted:

Sleeping little, eating little and speaking little is the way of enshrining Gurmat.
(Bhai Gurdas ji, Var. 28. Pauri 15)

"Eating and sleeping little, helping the needy, forgiving mistakes of others, being compassionate are all acts of a Sikh” (Dasam Granth Ang 709)

"They break away from the bonds with the world, and eat little food and drink little water.” (SGGSJ Ang 467)

(a) Male fast/abstinence: male youth are to make a habit of.

Be faithful to your one wife, see others as your daughters and sisters,
(women must be faithful to one husband and see others as your sons and brothers).
"
(Var 6. Pauri 8, Bhai Gurdas ji)

"Men should look at the opposite sex as mothers, sisters and daughters,
(women should look at the opposite sex as fathers, brothers and sons).
"
(Var. 29. Pauri 11, Bhai Gurdas ji)

"The wealth of another is like a stone to us, thus is of no avail.
Other women are like our mothers.
” (Dasam Granth, Ang 842)

"Do not gaze upon another’s wife, in a sinful way."
(SCGSJ Ang 274)

"Like the companionship of a poisonous snake, so is the desire for another's spouse, as the snake will poison/bite you, causing harm, in the same way having sex with another outside of marriage will cause much harm to you.
(SGGSJ Ang 403)

These teachings are illustrated by the story of Bhai Sant Ram jī, a Sikh from the times of the 5th Guru:

"The 10th Guru Sahib is saying that in the times of the 5th Guru Sahib there was a Sikh called Sant Ram, who worked as a bodyguard for the Emperor Jahangir.

Jahangir’s daughter became attracted to this Sikh and wanted to marry him, so Jahangir told the Sikh to convert to Islam, for the marriage to go ahead.

The Sikh refused and was decapitated. Jahangir then took the Sikh's head on a platter to his daughter. His daughter edged forward to touch the face of the Sikh and his head floated a few inches away, thus not even accepting her in death."
(Dasam Granth)

(b) Female fast/abstinence:

"Other than her husband, she knows no man. She enshrines love for the True Guru and sees all others (men as well) as the wives of God."
(SGGSJ Ang 54)

There is one Husband Lord, and all are His brides." (SGGSJ Ang 933)

Guru Ji says, she who looks upon the Husband as the Lord, is blessed and has firm faith: great are those wives and they are received with honour in the Court of the Lord.
(SGGSJ Ang 185)

Mai Sevan, Bibi Rājñī. Mai Bhag Kaur and others stories illustrate this. At the time of holding the ‘pula’ the bride is promising to:

Beloved husband if you take my hand I shall never forsake You.
(SGGSJ Ang 322)

Husband - if you are holding my hand in marriage then I will not leave your side until the day I die.

The bridegroom promises to:

"Just like manmukhs leave the Lord and go to hell, If I leave you I will go to hell too."
(SGGSJ Ang 322)

In the same way that scoundrels forget the Lord and go to hells - In the same way if I leave your innocent side then I will suffer the pain of many hells.

5. Meditation/Worship

"Some worship idols and some worship the dead. The world is entangled in false actions with no one realising the true Lord." (Dasam Granth Ang 15)

Muslims worship a stone in Mecca. In the same way if people pray to demi-gods and goddesses nothing is gained.

"Why worship gods and goddesses. O Siblings of Destiny?
What can we ask of them? What can they give us?
” (SGGSJ Ang 637)

Gursikhs have permission to:

"Worship the One Divine Lord. The true cleansing bath, is service (seva) of the Guru.
(SGGSJ Ang 484)

"Perform worship and adoration by meditating on the Nām, the Name of the Lord: without the Name, there is no worship and adoration." (SGGSJ Ang 489)

"Worship the True Guru at all times and make them happy. By such service I find peace in the Court of the Lord." (SGGSJ Ang 1158)

"Praying to God - day and night, not thinking of any other, enshrining pure love and faith. Fasting and praying to tombstones/graves are not to be adhered to even by mistake."

In Gurmat, the Timeless One is worshiped, discourse is on the Śabad (i.e. always thinking of or remembering Gurbani) and the vision is of the Khalsa.

The bride and groom should have unbounded love and harmony so that they will achieve worldly and spiritual success. A union based simply on worldly concerns cannot really be called a true union.

"They are not said to be husband and wife, who merely sit together."
(SCGSJ Ang 788)

The couple can only be regarded as being in union if:

They alone are called husband and wife, who have one light in two bodies."
(SGGSJ Ang 788)

Compromise and decisions are to be made in the following manner:

Sikh Husband and Wife congregate and discuss the boundless God.
Teaching their children how to meditate: keep repeating His Name.
"
(Rehatnāma Bhai Sahib Singh ji, p. 160)

"The husband and wife are very much in love; sitting together, they make evil plans.

All that is seen shall pass away. This is the Will of my God. How can anyone remain in this world forever? What can be done to prepare for the inevitable death?

Serving the Perfect Guru, the body is purified. Guru jī says, the Lord merges them into Himself: who are absorbed in the Nām."
(SGGSJ Ang 1250)

The couple should discuss their actions with one another before doing anything.

The bride is to respect her in-laws as if they were her own parents and the bridegroom is to do the same with his in-laws maintaining their love and a good relationship.

All actions are to be discussed by the couple and they are to remain strictly in adherence with Gurmat. Then Satguru jī will keep all their affairs on an upward spiral.